A Rude Awakening

by Justin Wade

So here was our morning...


Alarm goes off at 7:15.

Me: "Wow he slept late again great! What a good boy. You want to wake him up?"

Saru, after coming back from a 2 day business trip, "sure!"

30 seconds pass...

Through the monitor and down the hall I hear, "Oh my god." Not in an alarming way, but more of a surprise.

Then 5 seconds later, "Oh my god."

[Pause]

"Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god." Again, all said more in a surprised way than alarming. I still wasn't sure at this point if something was wrong, or if maybe he had done something new, like he was doing a handstand on the back of the crib. (I'm just waking up here, so cut me some slack)

Me: "What?"

Saru: "Oh my god." (x6)

Reluctantly, I ask, "Need me to come in?"

Saru: "Oh my god." (x10)

I think....guess I better get in there because this is going nowhere.

I walk in and Saru is standing back from the crib just staring at Ryan who is quite happily standing with his little hands on the rail and peeking over the top.

I take a closer look, and realize there is poop.

"Where?" you may ask? And I would say, "Yes."

It was everywhere. An area on the sheets with about an 8" diameter was clearly 'ground zero'. From there he had rolled, stepped, and mashed his hands in it multiple times. It was all over the sheets, his book, 2 stuffed animals, a rattle, his feet, hands, face, back, shirt, pants, crib railings, mesh bumper, and probably several other places we will discover over the next week.

Nasty.

So, instead of our usual routine of feeding him, showering and setting off for work/day care, Ryan got a couple of baths, we did a load of laundry and I attacked the nursery reminiscent of Tony Soprano's crew after a murder scene clean up. 45 minutes later, Ryan was clean, the poop covered items finishing up in the washer, and the crib lavendar fresh and with new sheets. And I managed to get to work just 10-15 minutes late after dropping him off at day care - not bad. It's like it never happened, or so we wish to believe.

But it did. And will forever be remembered The Great Poop Incident of '08.


Lessons learned:

1. Use bigger/night time diapers, especially if over the last month he's had a smidge of poop sneek out once or twice.

2. Don't voluntarily come in until specifically asked, no matter how many "Oh my gods" you hear.

3. If your kid is quiet, it's not because he is behaving properly. If it's too quiet, its a clear indication that something is wrong.


Sorry, no pictures for this post! Though for a split second I did consider grabbing the camera.